Saturday, May 22, 2010

What are you, chicken?


Why is everybody so freaked out by the possibility of legalizing egg-laying hens in the city of Ottawa? It's like anything that anyone ever does - if you disagree with it being done, and it's not really hurting anyone, then just close your pie-hole and don't do it.

The opposition's arguments boil down to the same argument used by the otherwise semi-intelligent people who also oppose such developments wind-turbines or urban composting: NIMBY. It goes like this:

Sure, let's move towards using more sustainable, renewable energy sources, like the wind; as long as you understand that those hideous turbine contraptions are Not going In My Back-Yard.

Oh yeah, let's stop filling landfills with potato peels and hair clippings and start composting that organic matter, why, that's a novel idea; but don't you dare try and tell me I have to taint my backyard with my own smelly refuse.

Nimby is the same selfish non-logic as is employed to resist the proposed changing of By-Law no. 2007-77, which currently forbids livestock of any kind within the city limits, with a few exceptions such as the Experimental Farm and Carleton University.

It is easy enough to pay lip-service to the local, slow-food, and organic movement if it simply means you have to shop at different stores. However, when it comes time to invite these food-providors into our own neighbourhoods, we cry about the potential smell, noise, and other, more theoretical, problems such as how people are going to let their chickens run free in the streets until the whole city becomes one big chicken coop and the chickens will start dining on our eggs, instead.

Of course, there are more legitimate concerns too, like disease. I say, if we can't be trusted to handle our own future food in a safe and sanitary way, then we shouldn't trust other establishments, especially those made up of people whose health is not directly at stake - and I'm talking about factory farms here now, folks - we shouldn't let them try to do it for us, either. It's not like factory farms have got food-safety down to a science.

If we, the people, can't do it, and history's shown that factory farms sure can't do it, then it can't be done, in which case we should consider giving up this food-source altogether. Or, for the sake of consistency, we should also outlaw the family vegetable garden, due to the looming threats of E.Coli and vegenitis. Hmph.

I'm frustrated because there is an actually viable solution to factory farms - other than giving up eggs and meat, which is viable, but not going to happen in the immediate future - but people are scared of a little chicken poop - I mean, coop.

I propose that if, and only if, you raise, care for, and slaughter your own livestock, you may have your meat (and eggs) and eat it too. If you can't handle the process, then maybe you shouldn't be allowed to enjoy the outcome. When what's on their plate is directly at stake, then maybe people will finally be so kind as to open their own backyards to progressive social change.

In the spirit of chickens and pie-holes, here's a recipe for Chicken-Less Pot pie that is sure to impress. I won't give you my pie crust recipe, because it's actually not that good.


Tofu Pot-Pie

-2 cups of fried tofu or tvp boiled in veggie broth or onion soup mix
-1 cup carrots and/or potatos, sliced and boiled in the same water as the tvp was.
-1 cup of peas or corn
-1/2 cup celery or cauliflower
{Really, any veggies will do}
-1/3 cup of Earth Balance
-1/3 cup onions, chopped
-1/3 cup of flour
-garlic, cumin, salt and pepper, to taste
-1/4 tsp celery seed
-1 3/4 cup broth
-2/3 cup soy or almond milk

1. Make crust for 2 9-inch pies, top and bottom.
2. In a pot, boil tvp. And veggies. Drain and set aside. If you're using tofu, fry it separately.
3. In a saucepan, over med heat, saute onions in butter until they're soft and clear. Stir in flour and herbs. Add broth and milk. Simmer over med-low heat until it thickens, then set aside.
4. Fill the crusts to the almost-brim, cover with top-crust, seal the edges, and cut away the excess. Cut slits in the top crust.
5. Bake uncovered at 425 for 30-45 minutes.

Bon appetit!





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