Working for a living (wage)

I've been working the same job for a year now, and I've been working it full-time for six months. Other than the restaurant I worked at for seven summers in a row, it is a personal record. I started the night shift so that I wouldn't have to give up my days, but found that by the end of the work-week, I'd given up my sanity.

I'm doing it because it's really quite a cushy job, in terms of allowing me to maintain an unusual amount of physical comfort and emotional fulfillment. It's also one which I feel relatively good about because in a mere six months, I'm going to enjoy the maternity leave benefits almost as much as I'm going to later bask in the reality of my eventual non-return to the public work-force.

Yet, for some reason, I am always searching the job sites. Kijiji. Craigslist. The rest are way too serious. On these sites, you can find anything that you are seeking, from a mate to a date to a knitting partner to new home in the country to a set of Mason jars, all barely used! like new! great deal! tired of you old mate/date/stich 'n bitch/home/jars?!?!?!?!. There's a speck of ambition, or at least restlessness, in me that's always convinced that there is something better out there, but I've found that, in terms of jobs (oh, and mates too, of course) there's really not.

There are so many tricks that people are trying to play on you. One of my favourites has become those employers who try to trick decent, desperate people into working for them for below minimum wage. There was a time, when I was younger and obligation-free, that I didn't think about these things. I was attracted to jobs that looked like fun, and I had a wide-eyed trust in the world to provide for me and to treat me fairly. I was used to having to prove myself, but I'd never lifted a finger in my own legal defense. Now that I'm a crusty quarter-centenarian, I finally understand that I was being taken advantage of. I was being worked, if you will, both literally and figuratively.

These days, I sometimes get my kicks out of seeking revenge for my poor little past self, and maybe even preventing a few other suckers from getting hooked by an equally exploitative job "opportunity". In March, minimum wage went up to a whopping 10.25$ in Ontario. Most jobs that I've stumbled upon, on the trashy job sites I frequent online, don't reflect this meagre raise. I feel that I'm in a privileged enough position, as a fully employed person who is able to meet their living requirements, give or take, every month, to have to complain. From this vantage point, I can be like a sniper, taking out employers that are looking to prey on those who graze on Kijiji's goods and services.... Maybe that's a little dramatic. Basically, I write letters to which I receive an occasional obliging response. But it's so much fun.

Below is an interaction I had with the owner of a landscaping company that was looking for labourers to do 9$ worth of work per hour. These days, for nine dollars, you might be able to get me to stay at home and quietly not support your selfish endeavour. I invite you to message me privately for the name of the company, if you want to pursue it and see if he's actually made the plunge into the wonderful world of legal wages.

________________________________________________________

On Sun, Apr 11, 2010 at 12:06 PM, I wrote:

I am writing in regards to the ad posted on Kijiji Ottawa for a landscaping job which pays "up to 15$ per hour". Later in the ad it states that pay starts at 9$ per hour.

The starting wage that you propose is not only disgraceful, but it is also illegal. General minimum wage in Ontario is currently set at $10.25 per hour, and student minimum wage is $9.60. Please see http://www.labour.gov.on.ca/english/es/pubs/guide/minwage.php.

Please correct this error in your ad. In the meantime, I will commence the process by which your company will be investigated by a Canadian Labour Congress Representative.

Regards,

E. *****

To which he immediately replied:

Thank you for letting me know. I was unaware of the increase in minimum and student wages.
I have changed my ad and will increase my wages to $10.25 an hour.

Also, I hire my workers as independent contractors, not employees. The average payout last year was $15.25 based on base plus commission.
The Ontario ministry of labour states "Most employees are eligible for minimum wage, whether they are full-time, part-time, casual employees, or are paid an hourly rate, commission, piece rate, flat rate or salary"
The independent contractors that work for me make more than minimum wage when you add the bonuses and commission, which is clearly stated in my ad.

If you have any other questions for me you can contact me at 613 *** **** or email ****.

Thanks,

N**** ***

Owner, ********* *****

One last thing:

N****,

Many employers aren't aware that they are not providing their employees with a living wage.

I understand that, with commission, you are offering a very competitive income to your contrators.

Thank you for recognizing that they are still eligible for minimum wage, and for adjusting your ad

accordingly. I trust that this will be confirmed shortly by the CLC REp.

Regards,

E. *****

_______________________________________________________________

See? It's an easy, fun, and inexpensive activity for the disgruntled worker who seeks gentle vengeance on the ghosts of bosses past! Try it!

On bitches

Some, like Kyna here, are born a bitch. For others, it is a coping mechanism that they learn to acquire along the way. If it serves them well, then they work diligently to cultivate the skills required to continue to be labelled a bitch. Once you're "A Bitch", you can get away with anything because people have come to expect the worst from you. When you are decent, you are "in a super good mood". Kyna has it down to a science: nice, nice, nice, bitch. She can switch it on in a flash if anybody crosses her, her loved ones, or her dish. She's only bitchy when it's called for, and those who matter to her love and respect her for it.

I haven't decided where I'd like to sit on the bitch spectrum, but I can say that my inner bitch tide is changing. So far, pregnancy has been a really transformative experience. I'm way more like Kyna than I was before. Smiling, with a bit of foam around the mouth.

Last summer, I was hit by a car, kind of. He made a right turn in his little Beatle, the kind with the daisy on the dash, and hit me off my bike; I landed on my feet with no more than a cut on my knuckle. He stopped mid-intersection. I ignored him, pretending to check my bike for damage, while deciding whether to play this incident up or tone it down. I decided I wanted to play it up, because I was really angry, seething mad, and I wanted him to feel guilty and repentive about it for at least the rest of the day.

"You should really check your blindspot, you know," I said.

"I did."

"Oh."

That's pretty much it.

On the way home, I thought about all the things I should have said, about how a car is a weapon and who the hell does he think he is and he'll have to pay for a new bike and my hand might need surgery....

But in truth, that just isn't who I am. I'm way too non-confrontational to get anything out of anyone in that kind of situation but sympathy.

Or should I say, was.

Yesterday, I was walking Kyna down the sidewalk of a busy street. An SUV had pulled onto the sidewalk in front of me, having gassed up at the ESSO, and was trying to make a right turn to merge with the oncoming traffic. I didn't feel like walking behind it, as I was with Kyna, and I reasoned that the exhaust would go right in her face. I couldn't walk in front of it, because the fast oncoming traffic had the SUV driver's full attention - she hadn't even seen me. I could fix that.

I pounded on the hood of her car with a flat hand, so my ring clanged loudly. She ignored me, and had the nerve to creep up further, but this made her passenger window come directly in line with my face. I knocked on the glass with my fist but still, stoically, she ignored me. She glanced in my direction, took me in, but made no eye contact or any indication that she was the least bit embarassed by her selfish, pushy, me-first driving.

Luckily, just then, there was a break in traffic and off she went. I had nothing to do but gesture, which only the car behind her saw. (I did notice, that car remained about 6 metres back until I had finished my show and gone on my way.) But what WOULD I have done? I felt perfectly calm, not angry or impulsive, just completely bent on having this woman understand that pedestrians own the sidewalks, and that Might does not equal Right; that her apparent relative wealth does not increase her worth; that her class does not make her a classy lady; that just because I'm trudging off to Canadian Tire to exchange a 40$ blender that broke after the third use, it doesn't mean I wish I was in her shoes.

I think I over-reacted. On a lot of days, I would have waited, smiled, taken a detour, been patient and compassionate. I've done rude things while driving, too. I'm not always on top of my game. I realize that my own negativity will simply attract more of the same, but sometimes, it's good to shake yourself up a bit, rattle the cage, and be a complete bitch. I'm bitching for two, now.

Bitchin' Banana Bread

1/2 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup unrefined sugar

1/2 cup "margarine"

3 very ripe bananas, mashed (frozen then thawed)

2 cups flour

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 cup vanilla soy milk, mixed with

1 tsp apple cider vinegar

1 tsp vanilla

2 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp nutmeg

1/2 tsp salt

1. Mix dry ingredients in a large bowl.

2. Cream together margarine (I use Earth Balance or any whey-free cheaper margarine) and sugars. Add bananas, vanilla, and soy/cider blend.

3. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients. Mix well.

4. Pour batter into an oiled 8 X 4 loaf pan.

5. Bake at 350 for 1 - 1 1/4 hours.

When green is the new black

This morning, driving home from work, I listened in mild amusement as the CBC voices finally discovered greenwashing: the act of "misleading consumers regarding the environmental practices of a company or the environmental benefits of a product or service."

I remember learning about this "phenomenon" six years ago, in a first-year university course, and so does my husband, who was going through the same rite of passage a full six years prior to me. Way to be cutting edge, CBC.

Primarily, the CBC interviewed corporate folks who defended the corporate need to greenwash, arguing that they're just adapting to circumstances in order to remain profitable. They are just following the logic of the market, right? After all, according to our out-dated thinking, profit and costs are always strictly monetary, direct, and immediate - and as long as the former is greater than the latter, then the company is cruising towards its greedy goal.

The problem with defending nasty corporations that wield a green paintbrush is that many companies are actually making legitimate steps towards going green, and inventing products that are more energy-efficient, less toxic, and more bio-degradable. The real harm in greenwashing is that it muddies the waters that we have to wade through to get to an item that we may actually need. Although we may truly want it to be ethical, we can't find it in green so we settle for red.

It turns out that 98% of companies are guilty of lying about their products' content and origin, aka greenwashing. This is super simple, we all lie all the time, but these lies are just so bloody intentional that it's hard not to have hurt feelings. On this website, there is also a break-down of greenwashing into more detectable terms, which they coined "The Seven Sins of Greenwashing".

http://sinsofgreenwashing.org/findings/the-seven-sins/

In a perfect world, or even just a sane one, we'd all create the time, energy and inclination to dig until we discover the truth about a company, and then we'd put our dollar where our values are by avoiding it like the oil slick or, better yet, by actively slandering their name. Instead, everybody seems to have bought into the "buyer beware" mantra, which is true to a point, but it's also just a nicer way of placing the burden of proof squarely on the shoulders of the buyer, instead of on the bullshitting company where it belongs.

You say you've now got organic and fair-trade products galore for a third of the normal price, Wal-Mart? Prove it. I don't buy it, and I'm not even going to look at it, because I trust that I can't trust you so you don't deserve my time. You've taken enough. Shell wants us to forgive it for Nigeria by sponsoring the 2010 Eco-Marathon Americas? I don't really know what that is, but I'm pretty sure it's irrelevant. Did you know May 1st was Send Shell to Hell Day?

According to "buyer beware", if we fall for these lovely-sounding phrases and decide to embrace Wal-Mart, Shell, etc, it's not the company's fault - they're just being rational. It is OUR fault, because we should have known better than to trust a company whose survival depends on its ability to bluff.

The ethical thing to do here seems to be to just refuse to support liars who rob us of our health and peace of mind. Rather than focus on what's bad - there are millions of lists of recalls and harmfull products out there already - let's look at what's good.

All-Purpose Cleaner

1 tbsp washing soda (Borax)

1/2 cup liquid castile soap

1/2 cup white vinegar

4 litres hot tap water

20 drops of an essential oil like lemon, lavender, tea tree, or eucalyptus

1. Combine these things and put them in a spray bottle.

Laundry Detergent

1 cup vinegar

1 cup baking soda

1 cup washing soda (Borax)

1/4 cup liquid castile soap

1. Pour liquid soap in a bowl. Stir in the washing soda, then the baking soda, and then add the vinegar in small batches.

2. Break up all the lumps.

3. Use 1/2 cup per load.

Since water and vinegar does the trick on the windows with an old newspaper, what else do you need? Well, I recommend Tramp, a wonderful bottled liquid soap from Lush... it's hip, it's sexy, and best of all, it's dark GREEN.

Back to Basics

My head swirls when I think of all the reasons that people I know have for wanting to adopt a more plant-based diet: health, animal rights, the environment, human hunger, economics, religion, and convenience, to name but a few. I'm not here to preach, because you've already thought this one through, one way or the other.

For me, one of the main reasons for making the final switch-over to veganism has very little to do with the way in which veganism is serving me now, which is simple...

No, that's it, it's that it's so simple. I love being able to stock the most unadulterated ingredients, smug in the knowledge that I could probably make it into a decently yummy meal in half an hour. I have one of those kitchens that is so apparently dull that someday, if I remain true to form, my kids will look in the cupboard and say, "Ugh, there's NOTHING to eat". And I'll just laugh, and put them to work picking the stones out of sacks of lentils.

Which brings me to my main beef with the veg-fad: if it's not beef, then why are we compelled to consume - and consequently, manufacture and market - foods that look and taste just like it? But even for a seasoned vegan, these products are almost impossible to avoid, especially around the holidays when people look at you like a you're a starving orphan if you don't have something on your plate that they feel is an adequate substitute, like a Tofurkey. Maybe they just like to know that as much as you are a vegetarian, you still long for a hunk of meat to round out the holidays, and maybe this helps them ease their meat-guilt and enjoy their roasted bird. I said maybe.

Anyway, most of these meat substitutes, like the witty but brainless Tofurkey, are soy-based and can be found in what I've heard referred to as the "bourgy-hippy section" of the grocery store. These are well-masked and well-marketed, but they're basically the hotdogs of vegetarian cuisine.

I cook with them on a regular basis.

But I promise to try not to so much, and I promise I'll never post a recipe and say, "And you can't even tell it's vegan!!!" Because hopefully, you'll always be able to tell that your food is probably fear-free, and you can enjoy it even more because of it.

These are the veggie burgers I like to make sometimes. It took me a while to find this recipe, and in the process I became convinced that people post and publish recipes that they think sound good, but the ingredients don't actually add up. (Once, I fell for a cookie recipe that had no flour.)

Millet Patties

1 cup of dry millet

2 1/2 cups of water

1/4 cup of finely chopped onion

1/4 or so cup of whole wheat flour

2 tbsp soy sauce

1 tbsp nutritional yeast

garlic to taste

fresh oregano, thyme or sage to taste

8 oz (about 3/4 of a brick) of tofu

2 tbsp of ground sunflower seeds, almonds or cashews

1. Cook the millet in the water, covered, for about 30 minutes. Allow it to cool.

2. Add the remaining ingredients.

3. Form into patties, using as much flour (or breadcrumbs) as you need to de-stickify it.

4. Cook 'em. The patties can be either baked in the oven at 375 for 5- 7 minutes per side, or fried in an oily pan on the stovetop. They tend to better maintain their structural integrity in the oven. Also, they cook best if they're no more than a couple centimetres thick, so I like to stack two in bun. McDonalds, eat your heart out.