Working for a living (wage)

I've been working the same job for a year now, and I've been working it full-time for six months. Other than the restaurant I worked at for seven summers in a row, it is a personal record. I started the night shift so that I wouldn't have to give up my days, but found that by the end of the work-week, I'd given up my sanity.

I'm doing it because it's really quite a cushy job, in terms of allowing me to maintain an unusual amount of physical comfort and emotional fulfillment. It's also one which I feel relatively good about because in a mere six months, I'm going to enjoy the maternity leave benefits almost as much as I'm going to later bask in the reality of my eventual non-return to the public work-force.

Yet, for some reason, I am always searching the job sites. Kijiji. Craigslist. The rest are way too serious. On these sites, you can find anything that you are seeking, from a mate to a date to a knitting partner to new home in the country to a set of Mason jars, all barely used! like new! great deal! tired of you old mate/date/stich 'n bitch/home/jars?!?!?!?!. There's a speck of ambition, or at least restlessness, in me that's always convinced that there is something better out there, but I've found that, in terms of jobs (oh, and mates too, of course) there's really not.

There are so many tricks that people are trying to play on you. One of my favourites has become those employers who try to trick decent, desperate people into working for them for below minimum wage. There was a time, when I was younger and obligation-free, that I didn't think about these things. I was attracted to jobs that looked like fun, and I had a wide-eyed trust in the world to provide for me and to treat me fairly. I was used to having to prove myself, but I'd never lifted a finger in my own legal defense. Now that I'm a crusty quarter-centenarian, I finally understand that I was being taken advantage of. I was being worked, if you will, both literally and figuratively.

These days, I sometimes get my kicks out of seeking revenge for my poor little past self, and maybe even preventing a few other suckers from getting hooked by an equally exploitative job "opportunity". In March, minimum wage went up to a whopping 10.25$ in Ontario. Most jobs that I've stumbled upon, on the trashy job sites I frequent online, don't reflect this meagre raise. I feel that I'm in a privileged enough position, as a fully employed person who is able to meet their living requirements, give or take, every month, to have to complain. From this vantage point, I can be like a sniper, taking out employers that are looking to prey on those who graze on Kijiji's goods and services.... Maybe that's a little dramatic. Basically, I write letters to which I receive an occasional obliging response. But it's so much fun.

Below is an interaction I had with the owner of a landscaping company that was looking for labourers to do 9$ worth of work per hour. These days, for nine dollars, you might be able to get me to stay at home and quietly not support your selfish endeavour. I invite you to message me privately for the name of the company, if you want to pursue it and see if he's actually made the plunge into the wonderful world of legal wages.

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On Sun, Apr 11, 2010 at 12:06 PM, I wrote:

I am writing in regards to the ad posted on Kijiji Ottawa for a landscaping job which pays "up to 15$ per hour". Later in the ad it states that pay starts at 9$ per hour.

The starting wage that you propose is not only disgraceful, but it is also illegal. General minimum wage in Ontario is currently set at $10.25 per hour, and student minimum wage is $9.60. Please see http://www.labour.gov.on.ca/english/es/pubs/guide/minwage.php.

Please correct this error in your ad. In the meantime, I will commence the process by which your company will be investigated by a Canadian Labour Congress Representative.

Regards,

E. *****

To which he immediately replied:

Thank you for letting me know. I was unaware of the increase in minimum and student wages.
I have changed my ad and will increase my wages to $10.25 an hour.

Also, I hire my workers as independent contractors, not employees. The average payout last year was $15.25 based on base plus commission.
The Ontario ministry of labour states "Most employees are eligible for minimum wage, whether they are full-time, part-time, casual employees, or are paid an hourly rate, commission, piece rate, flat rate or salary"
The independent contractors that work for me make more than minimum wage when you add the bonuses and commission, which is clearly stated in my ad.

If you have any other questions for me you can contact me at 613 *** **** or email ****.

Thanks,

N**** ***

Owner, ********* *****

One last thing:

N****,

Many employers aren't aware that they are not providing their employees with a living wage.

I understand that, with commission, you are offering a very competitive income to your contrators.

Thank you for recognizing that they are still eligible for minimum wage, and for adjusting your ad

accordingly. I trust that this will be confirmed shortly by the CLC REp.

Regards,

E. *****

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See? It's an easy, fun, and inexpensive activity for the disgruntled worker who seeks gentle vengeance on the ghosts of bosses past! Try it!